Mother-in-law gives $250 airline gift card that can only be used on a trip to Disney World with her, daughter-in-law wants to back out: 'I am a 35 year old corporate woman with no children. I have zero interest'

Is a gift with strings attached still a gift? 

Sometimes something that seems like a gift isn't a gift at all, it's an obligation. When you're giving something to someone, you should probably make sure that it doesn't impose on their life. You wouldn't want someone to do that to you, so you shouldn't do that to others. Gifts should make the receiver's life easier, not more difficult. But sometimes in a family, these dynamics get a little bit complicated. Sometimes people use gifts as leverage to make something happen for themselves. A tactic of manipulation more than an expression of gratitude. That is never okay, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. You can't control what people are going to do to you, but you can control how you respond. And sometimes you have to keep the peace, but other times you have to assert yourself. 

It can be difficult to know when to keep to yourself and when to speak out. Especially with in-laws. They become your family through marriage, but that doesn't mean that there aren't still boundaries in place. You're learning how they work, and they're learning how you work. It's only natural that there would be some roadblocks along the way. It's not about avoiding conflict; it's about learning how to deal with it head-on so you can heal from it in the future. That's what the woman in this story was trying to do when it became clear that she was reaching an impasse with her in-laws. 

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